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  • HINDU FESTIVAL—Hundreds of Hindus and friends gather for annual Holi Festival of Colors in Spanish Fork. DANA IVINS
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  • SNOWBOARD TRICKS as hotdoggers show off on the Quad during Entrepreneur Week. CASSIDEE J. CLINE. Story
  • WINTER A and the American flag over a snowy USU campus. WHITNEY PETERSON
  • QUADVIEW—A springtime view of the USU Quad and Old Main from atop the business building.
  • PRESS CONFERENCE—USU President Stan Albrecht briefing journalism students. CHRIS ROMRIELL. Story
  • HIGH-HEELIN’ IT—Men in high heels and their female supporters walk a mile to protest sex abuse. TY ROGERS
  • ELK PICNIC—Elk and humans mingle at the winter refuge at Blacksmith Fork's Hardware Ranch. CARESA ALEXANDER. Story

Guest column: Don’t come to Canada, American secessionists

November 16th, 2012 Posted in Opinion

By Sherry King

VANCOUVER, B.C. — A note to American secessionists:  For several very good reasons, DO NOT come to Canada.

First, Canadian Immigration does not recognize the need for anyone to be a refugee from the United States. So much time has been spent proving that you’re number one, no one believes there’s any reason to flee.

Second, we have our own secessionist issues to work on and they’ve been ongoing for decades. You will find neither comfort nor affinity with the French in Quebec, who have been fighting to separate for generations. They won’t like you. And you certainly won’t be able to overcome your disdain for people who don’t speak English. But there’s more! Western Canada gets a knot in its collective knickers from time to time and talks about dividing the nation in two, or three, or four…whatever. The Eastern-based government doesn’t represent us no matter how many delegates we send. You’d be out of the frying pan and into the fire.

And third, but not finally, the United States has been in a mood to return to the “good old days” since the inception of your government. Remember this? “Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.”

Secession has been decided. It was decided that you would long endure. You have to play nice with your neighbors. You don’t have to share all of your toys, but you don’t get to exploit the toys of other people, either. If there are 25,000 of you in one state, you don’t represent ALL OF THE OTHERS who live in that state. You don’t get to hog the resources of that state, nor to claim them as your own. Resources belong to the earth. And up to now, I’d say the planet has been pretty darn generous with you. No state belongs to you. You are not entitled to carve out the bits that please you so you can blunder your way into the future, unaware that you are still part of a larger community.There are plenty of modern issues —  energy source development, global warming, election reform, term limits for those who are elected to represent you; well, the list goes on and on — for you to work on right in your own yard. Fix the stuff you broke before you try to wander out into the world to spread your own particular brand of sunshine.

Canadian culture looks the same on the surface. You could probably walk down the street and pass for a Canuck. But once you open your mouth, you’ll be recognized as a foreigner: an aggressive, self-righteous, judgmental, whining, spoiled brat who neglected your own civil responsibilities and then ran away from home when things went badly.

Stay home. Work things out. Do the honorable thing. But don’t think of Canada as a safe haven for you. You are part of the mess in the global neighborhood that makes us feel like we’re living next to a crack house. You can’t bring your guns. You can’t stay without signing up for medical coverage. You can’t accomplish anything here that you can’t do at home.

–Sherry King is a retired citizen of the world and self-described “Earth mother/reformed hippie, locomotive engineer, black-belt mother of one fine son. A patriot.”

NW

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